Life Magazine is coming back, online and this time it will be more exciting than ever!

Rumored hot topics include: “Life of a slug,” “Life of a Turtle” and “Life of an Underwater Basket Weaver.”

Online readers will be holding to the seat of their pants as they read captions and look at pictures of other exciting topics such as, “Hair-combing of the Ubangis” and “Sleep Habits of Himalayan monks.”

The Lost Boys is coming back as a threequel (second sequel). But this time they’re not cocky vampires. No folks. They are what the title says, “LOST.”

Rumor has it that the film begins with the “boys” waking up out of a feeding delirium on a curb in a shanty area of New York City. Lost in their surroundings along with their prior blackout state, they continue to roam the streets of New York City, never finding their home.

Highlighted moments are when one of them forgets how to use a urinal, another can’t find a McDonalds anywhere, and the third loses his pants.

The ultimate moment of the film is when they forget how to properly bite the neck of their next victim and instead start biting the buttocks.

Wives all over are jumping on the bandwagon of finding their husbands jobs through using creative tactics. Myhusbandneedsajob.com has been getting so many hits. Mike, the “husband,” has also been getting many job offers.

“Myhusbandneedsyoutocook.com” is also gaining popularity, as well as, “myhusbandwantsadivorce.com”

Adult sites are also jumping on the bandwagon with ideas circulating around the names, “myhusbandwantstobenaughty.com” and “myhusbandseeswhores.com.”

Rachel Ray who thought she was posing for “Food and Health” Magazine, found herself posing for a sexy magazine for men known as, “For Him.” As to how she got confused by the two magazines, who would know?

Despite the racy subject matter of the magazine, Rachel is said to have been disappointed at the conservative approach of the photographer.

“I thought they were going to have me in more provocative poses with pots and pans. I wanted to get trashy, real trashy. Everyone knows that pots and pans are not just for cooking.”

On lookers purportedly said she was having way too much fun with this photo shoot. After she licked chocolate off a wooden spoon, she was seen spanking the photographer with it. When asked to stop she placed the heal of her shoe on his back and said, “Take it like a man – you know you love it. Repeat after me, ‘Rachel Ray is my culinary master.’”

It’s time again for Celebrity Beach Bowl! Fans’ favorite celebrities will eat bowls of cereal on the beach. And rumor is that it will be in the nude!

What more can any fan or paparazzi ask for than to see Robin Williams hairy butt immersed in clumps of sand having a bowl of Cheerios?

Some say Pamela Anderson may make an appearance, indulging in a bowl of Cream of Wheat. Other guests are rumored to be Angelina Jolie (prefers Corn Nuts instead of any cereal), Brad Pitt (likes good ole fashion Corn Flakes), and Jennifer Aniston (Corn Pops). Sounds like a lot of corn holes doing what they know best – living the high life, getting paid to eat free cereal and work on their tans. Fans could only wish they had it so good.

Today, January 19th, 2008, it appeared that everyone and their uncle wanted to become an ultrasound technician. Google trends showed this as a “volcanic” item for searches.

There is talk around Hollywood that even some well-known celebrities have been jumping on the bandwagon, as entertainment jobs have taken a hit due to the slumping economy.

“I’ve known that I got on the wrong path when I became an actor” says one famous actor, who wishes to remain anonymous. “It was a long journey to the womb, but now I realize that my calling is to be an ultrasound technician. All my life I’ve had dreams of searching for growths in a woman’s uterus, whether they be fibroids or a baby. I’ve finally found out my purpose in life, and it feels great!”

Workers all over California are being encouraged to participate in “Call In Gay Day” by calling in sick due to being too happy to go to work. Workers are giving a message to corporate America. They are coming together in order to recognize how being happy is directly tied with not going to work.

In a statement requesting pay without work, Bob Goldfield is asking his employer to let him sleep in and have ice cream all day in exchange for a normal paid day off from work. He decided that his happiness is most important and his employer should reward him just for that – for being gay.

Just having posed nude for the Peta ad advocating vegetarianism, Bonnie-Jill Laflin has decided to sit down to a good old-fashion steak. Tucked away in a low-profile booth at an Angus Steak House, Bonnie-Jill Laflin was seen woofing down a steak within as little as five minutes. “I couldn’t believe my eyes, when I noticed it was Bonnie-Jill Laflin,” said an onlooker and patron of the steak house. “It was as if she hadn’t eaten in a week! She went through a whole bottle of A-1 Steak Sauce, too!”