It was a rough time for Lindsay today. 84 minutes of time at the Lynwood Jail in plea of her 2 DUIs.

“It’s a shame that such an important, beautiful star should have to taint her image, hobnobbing with derelicts in jail”, says Marcus Lost, a fan who frequents her every move. “It’s just not fare. Jail should be left for the homeless, poor and downtrodden. NOT hot celebrities.”

Another adoring Lohan fan, Julie Homely from Lynwood, said “It’s appalling that almost one and a half hours of her time was wasted when she could have been getting a manicure or a pedicure or something.”

Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon have been spotted around town making goo goo eyes at each other.  Reporters have been swarming around this new couple, wanting to get the dirt and find out how serious this new relationship just is.  A girlfriend of Reese’s claims that Jake has cut a deal with Reese: As long as he can go on fishing trips with one of his buddies three times year, things should be pretty good between the two of them.

A small crowd of nuns stood outside Conan O’Brien’s residence this morning, chanting, “God has blessed you, Conan.” Apparently, the nuns have formed a new O’Brien fan club and are following his every mood with spirited infatuation.

When asked what was so intriguing about him, Sister Pelklady said, “He’s the hottest red-headed male the Lord has bestowed upon national television.” “So you like red-headed males?” the reporter asked. She replied, “Well, let’s just say we all need a little devilish intrigue sometimes.”

When asked who the hottest male redhead was before him, Sister Pelklady couldn’t think of one and then belted, “Woody Allen?”

The extent of Tori Spelling’s 8-month old son’s humor “is all about poopin and peein”, says the child’s nanny. Margarita, who spends lots of diaper days dealing with the little monkey, claims the family is full of laughs over watching little Liam poop and pee all day.

“He’s quite the comedian,” says Tori who is proud of her son. “We think he will be performing at the Comedy Club in no time- diapers and all!”

When asked what his jokes center around, she replied, “The usual – getting his milk warm, as well as not getting his diapers changed in a timely fashion.”

Hollywordz reply: “VERY FUNNY for an 8-month old. Born comic!”