Adnan Ghalib, Britney Spear’s latest heartthrob met her while taking her photo.

“It was love at site, through da lenses, of course.” Sources claim Adnan has said. “I am so used to photography of this beauty that I not sure why she sees in da me.”

Adnan’s broken English has Britney fans both charmed and disgusted.

Reports have surfaced that Jessica Sierra may have had the same plastic surgeon that Jenna Jameson had. They both look like squids!

“I knew there was something about Jessica that made me think of Jenna,” said a former friend of both. “They both have fish-like lips and bubbly eyes that drift to the sides of their heads as opposed to the front of their faces.”

Maybe they really have had the same plastic surgeon!

While smoking at a gas station, Britney threw her butt out the window, started to drive off and then blew up the gas station.

“I thought she had enough stuff blowing up around her,” said an on-looker.

Britney managed to remain unscathed. Sources say it’s a blessing she is bald, because she would have had a head full of flames otherwise.

The gas station attendant wasn’t so lucky. His eyebrows were singed and he’s forever been left with a memory of what it’s like to cross Britney’s path.

Former wife of Tom Cruise and current wife of Keith Urban, is pregnant!

She has two kids with Tom Cruise and this will be a first with her second hubby.

How many think the kid will come out having red hair?

Seen leaving a hotel on a stroll with his little black Pug dog, Rob Zombie let the cameraman know he did not like having his picture taken.

Flipping the bird to the paparazzi, Rob must have not liked everyone knowing this gentler side of him. A funny, little smooshed faced pug he has – NOT a Pitbull!?

Of course, if you are a dog owner you know how it is when you have to take your lil one out for a whiz, even if the weather is freezing cold or raining cats and dogs. No pun intended.

Perhaps, that is why Mr. Zombie chose to flip off the cameraman. He was feeling a little cranky about having to take his royal zombie ass outside in the rain to walk his little one.

Some time ago when Kevin and Britney were on friendlier terms, he had bought her a gun. Why, what a lovely gift to give to your loved one!

And now sources say that he claims to be afraid that she had the gun while she was held up in a room with the two children, just moments away of getting whisked off on the gurney.

Guns are so overrated and romanticized even.

Take the lyrics to the new M.I.A. song:

All I wanna do is (BANG BANG BANG BANG!)
And (KKKAAAA CHING!)
And take your money

While Britney was at Cedars Sinai, sources say that Dr. Phil made a surprise visit.

I can hear it now. “Britney, you need to come to terms with your bipolar condition. Now are you with me?” (said in the country twang of Dr. Phil’s voice). “You need to be serious about your life. One day it’s a shaved head the next day it’s a hot pink glam hair do. Britney, those different colored wigs gotta go.”

Joe Jonas of the Jonas Brothers whacked his head while playing around back stage at a show. He was taken to the hospital for stitches and all is well.

Or is it? Quick, someone have him recite the words to his songs just to make sure his memory is in tact. Or simply ask him if he has a brother! What if he says he doesn’t?
Why, he’d have to change the name of the band to The Jonas Brother instead!

Sources say Britney’s son, Jayden was looked over at the hospital after her admittance. He had some scratches but nothing that alarmed officials.

And to think that her kids have managed to be unscathed after riding in the lap of their mama, without a seatbelt! Now that is truly remarkable!

After being locked down to a gurney and hauled off to the hospital, Britney was witnessing (if not very conscious) the letting go of her children to a man who likes to party it up in Vegas.

They say a lot of shit goes down once you hit your late 20s – that is, your inner stuff starts to surface and then bubbles over when you get to that age range. It looks as though there is a A LOT for her to process now.

The world loves to put these pop icons on a pedestal only to knock them down fiercely once they’ve reached success. It seems as though poor Britney is experiencing this simultaneously, with the crash/burn age of late 20s and the external factors of some poor decisions.

Good luck, girl. You need it. 

1. Get off the drugs
2. Get into therapy
3. Take a LONG break from Hollywood