The news is out that Billy Joel married a baby. Billy Joel 58 is quoted as saying that he likes the young ones. “27 is a great age,” a source close to the star claims he has said with regards to wife, Katie Lee Joel, who is 27.

“It was just yesterday that she was walking and potty-trained. Come to think of it, I was 32 years old when she was in diapers. Oh, the thought of it. I would have gladly changed them!”

Age difference or not, this is an odd couple, indeed.

Kim Myles known as “the black Martha Stewart” will be premiering her new show, “Myles of Style” tonight on HGTV.

“I want to make sure to do the worse design job possible on my first episode,” Kim was quoted as saying to a production team member. “That way, people will be surprised when I turn out some good stuff in the second and third episode. I figure I’ll use lots of putrid green colors and murky browns. I want the viewer to think of baby s*it, when they see the room. I figure new mothers will be able to relate best.”

Fans are excited about what they will see and may even fall for the putrid green, simply because they are fans.

Here piggy, piggy.  The latest food fad for fighting epilepsy seizures is what people are calling, the “ketogeniic diet” which is a diet rich in fatty foods, like bacon, cheese pizza (without crust) and beef jerky.

Porkers everywhere are finding this a nice justification to just say no to fruits and vegetables.

“Since my kids cholesterol levels jumped way up, I’m still not worried about him following the ketogenic diet, because his seizures have subsided and that’s all that counts,” says a relieved parent.

Julian Beaver, an English man, known for his 3D chalk drawings, is attracting more than attention around New York City. People walking along side his drawings are developing panic disorders at the thought of falling into what looks like massive holes in the street.

“It started on my way to work. I was feeling short of breath and my chest was pounding. I noticed that I couldn’t bare to walk on the same side of the sidewalk where his art was,” says a pedestrian on his way to work. “One of his drawings had me afraid that I would fall into an abyss and never come back, “ says another walker-by.

“I noticed that I would sweat profusely on my way to work and I didn’t make the connection, until one morning, I found myself on my knees, hugging the curb for dear life, while leering with dread at one of his apocalyptic 3D images of Hell,” says a young woman.

I was afraid I’d fall into the fire pits he drew,” says a terrified 30-something woman.

The people of New York City are in a flurry and just might find that they want to give Julian Beaver a taste of his artistic license. One Italian New Yorker was quoted as saying, “Well, let’s just say there are plenty of real sewer pits here in New York that can come in handy. It would be as easy as bada bing.”

After winning the American Cup in gymnastics, Paul Hamm has been seen around town hamming it up and in return, is annoying the heck out of everyone around him.

“He comes in here, puffs out his chest, and stands on our tables doing gymnastic moves,” says an Italian restaurant owner. “The final straw was when he proceeded to treat the railing near the cash register as a high beam, decking one of our patrons in the chin with his toe.”