For a brief moment Comcast’s email client was down for its patrons due to a host of clown hackers that go by the name Kryogenic Warlocks. The clown organization has been operating for some time now and authorities have yet to locate their main domain/ip address. They have made appearances at various websites, particularly those that cater to clown paraphernalia and clown costumes. The reference to “Warlocks” in their name would suggest that they are hiding out somewhere playing Dungeons and Dragons when they are otherwise not hacking websites.

Talks of the name of this revived story, ‘The Adromeda Strain’ have sparked rumors that the director was thinking of just calling the movie, ‘The Andromeda Brain,’ making the entire focus of the movie on a brain in space, without any cast members, only a voice over of the talking brain.

“It would be the perfect way to save money – not
having to pay actors and just have a very good simu-
lation of a brain instead,” says one science fiction fan.

“I think in a time when Hollywood likes reality shows
and not having to pay actors, this is a great idea that fits right in with the thrifty mentality. They could save a *hit load of moolah. And heck, maybe the brain would win over fans, itself! They could set up a fan site and even do live video feeds of interviews with ‘the brain.’”

But actors, Eric McCormack, Benjamin Bratt and Andre Braugher may have not been given the opportunity to be in the film, if it weren’t for a lot of opposition over the brain idea. Fans of the earlier movie from 1972 protested over the great story change proposal and burned miniature toy brains outside the studios.

Drew Peterson, the suspect in his wife Stacy’s mysterious disappearance, announced that he will be releasing an album of songs, to spring board his celebrity status. The title of the album is, “Hacking Made Easy” and features songs such as “A Psychopath’s Charm,” “Turning the Cameras On The Haters,” “I’m Innocent, Only I know I Done It” and “OJ, You Are My Brother.”

The top two finalists of American Idol are David Archuleta and David Cook. “The Davids” as they are being called, are rumored to be getting into fistfights back stage. Arculeta purportedly called Cook a “weasel-eyed momma’s boy” and Cook was spotted giving Archuleta a wedgy.

Carmen Elecktra (ex-wife of Dennis Rodman and Dave Navarro- both known for their love of cross-dressing) is taking a stab at the age old institution yet again. This time it’s Rob Patterson, guitarist of the rock band, Korn. Maybe a dance with the devilish vixen will send Rob to becoming a born again Christian like the Korn guitarist before him, Brian “Head” Welch.

One can only wonder if Rob be the one wearing the garter, too!

Cynthia Rodriguez , wife of the New York Yankee’s star, ‘A-Rod,’ gave birth to a baby girl today. She says that A-Rod passed out while she was giving birth.

Hospital by-standers claim that when he awoke from the hospital floor, he asked for a bottle and some diapers.

Lovers of Kentucky Fried Chicken are in protest of today’s Kentucky Derby in Louisville, Kentucky. They say that the name, ‘Kentucky’ should only belong to the Kentucky Fried Chicken fast food chain and not the derby.

A derby fan asked one of the protesters, “What about the state of Kentucky using the name?” An obese, bald man downing a KFC chicken wing, was quoted as saying, “Colonel Sanders should own the rights to the name, ‘Kentucky’ just ‘cause his chicken is so damn good. Heck, I’d be fine if my ass got to be the size of one of these horses just from eating this stuff. It’s so damn good, I tell ya. F*ck the derby, that’s what I say!”

The Kentucky Derby, a Grade I stakes race for three-year-old thoroughbred horses, takes place every year in Louisville, Kentucky, on the first Saturday in May.