Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are saving the world by breeding like rabbits and adopting children from every nation. “We’d like to send the message that procreating is a great thing despite having a world that is overpopulated with shrinking resources. Just as Tom Cruise thinks it’s his duty to direct world leaders with his Scientology know-how, we think it’s our duty to save the world by breeding Bradgelina blue bloods.”

Rumor has it that their idea of breeding more “Bradgelina Blue Bloods” will aid them in infiltrating world leadership and ultimately saving the planet.

Tomkat were in New York and were spotted videotaping their “amazing lady,” daughter Suri.

That’s right folks. Suri is growing at an unbelievable rate and is now considered to be a “lady” by parent, Katie. Since when have female toddlers been considered ladies? Well, maybe Tomkat know something we don’t. Maybe she is really a lady in that little baby body of hers. Maybe she is a transplant from the planet Orion and she is here to take over as the new “superior race.”

Or maybe Suri has been created by the Church of Scientology to help prevent the great apocolypse.

Lady Suri, do teach us the ways of the toddler. And explain to us how such a little one can find herself wearing such expensive, designer clothes?