Archive for the 'Exploiter' Category
Perez Hilton is Knighted
The queen of a small, impoverished island off the coast of Siberia has just knighted Perez Hilton, celebrity tabloid exploiter.
His anointed title is now, “Knight Van Ahole. “ The name, “Ahole,” is a descriptive word in a dialect of Siberian to mean, “stale fruitcake.” Stale fruitcake is a delicacy to the island’s people, along with petrified dung from mollusks washed along the polluted shores.
Paparazzi were spotted outside the palace gates where the knighting ceremony took place. As helicopters flew overhead, Perez gave a token of appreciation to the queen by offering her what was left of a jumbo bag of Jalapeno Cheese Poppers, purchased from a local fast-food chain.
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