Metamucil was the culprit for Britney’s long stay in the bathroom during the custody dispute. Sources say that Britney had been backed up for days because she wasn’t getting enough fiber in her diet.

Friends say that she thought pill popping and Vodka would do the job, but she soon realized a little Metamucil was needed to really get her plumbing going again.

When Kevin Federline arrived at the scene, she couldn’t control her bowels, and was running to the restroom before police arrived. The entire team of police offers had to wait patiently outside the restroom while a cacophony of sounds came from the bathroom where Brit was held up.

Thank God for Metamucil!

Some time ago when Kevin and Britney were on friendlier terms, he had bought her a gun. Why, what a lovely gift to give to your loved one!

And now sources say that he claims to be afraid that she had the gun while she was held up in a room with the two children, just moments away of getting whisked off on the gurney.

Guns are so overrated and romanticized even.

Take the lyrics to the new M.I.A. song:

All I wanna do is (BANG BANG BANG BANG!)
And (KKKAAAA CHING!)
And take your money

After being locked down to a gurney and hauled off to the hospital, Britney was witnessing (if not very conscious) the letting go of her children to a man who likes to party it up in Vegas.

They say a lot of shit goes down once you hit your late 20s – that is, your inner stuff starts to surface and then bubbles over when you get to that age range. It looks as though there is a A LOT for her to process now.

The world loves to put these pop icons on a pedestal only to knock them down fiercely once they’ve reached success. It seems as though poor Britney is experiencing this simultaneously, with the crash/burn age of late 20s and the external factors of some poor decisions.

Good luck, girl. You need it. 

1. Get off the drugs
2. Get into therapy
3. Take a LONG break from Hollywood

The LAPD were called to Britney’s Beverly Hills mansion tonight for what appears to be a drama related around the custody battle of her children.

K-Fed who has been whoring off her earnings is ready to take full custody of the children. Hmm.. that sounds rather odd especially since he had an infant of his own from another relationship when he met Britney and was reportedly awol from having anything to do with that kid.