Stavros Niarchos was spotted with a hotty on New Years Eve in Brazil.

“He’s a terrific kisser,” says former girlfriend. “Especially because he has big-ass lips.”

Sources say that Paris went ballistic when she got word he was having a social life with someone other than herself.

“I should be the ONLY one he ever kisses.” She was quoted as telling a friend. An acquaintance had to remind her that they broke it off months ago and life must go one with or without Paris Hilton.

Seen at a New Year’s Eve party in Las Vegas, Paris Hilton and Larry Birkhead exchanged words during the partying hour.

Birkhead appears to have a thing for troubled blonds.

“I like them blond and beautiful,” Birkhead was quoted as saying to a patron of the party.

Really? Well, that’s certainly more of a draw than the fact that they are sitting on stockpiles of cash money!

Paris Hilton was spotted coming back from her dreamy Hawaiian holiday, jonesing for some donuts at a Seven Eleven in Los Angeles. The cashier of the Seven Eleven, stated that she appeared to be famished, jamming down donuts, a hot dog and some nachos all in a mere few minutes. When she walked up to the register, she had jelly streaming down her chin and nacho sauce down her gold lame dress.

“I could tell something was up by her pupils,” said an onlooker. “They were so dilated from all the sugar intake.”

Relieved to have Paris depart the store, the cashier was overheard telling someone he was afraid she was going to eat him out of house and home.

Los Angeles City Attorney Rocky Delgadillo who handled Paris Hilton’s probation violation case, is appalled at the special treatment she is receiving.  After the LA Sheriff’s Department announced her transfer to the Playboy Mansion, Hefner’s bunnies have been a wee bit jealous as well.

 “There she can have the pampering she is used to,”  says a close friend. “She is used to cream puffs for breakfast and bon bons for lunch. And a county jail is not going to make these treats accessible. She’s lucky if she can even get her daily pedicures that she is accustomed too, for crying out loud!”

Sources close to Paris say she is elated at the prospects of holding up the west wing of the Playboy mansion.  Hefner is delighted as well.  “It is a great day to know that we can save a rich, beautiful, blond from incarceration.  Any day I can do that, is a strong sense of accomplishment.”
 

Paris has finally found her soul mate: Herself! Yes, folks, it’s true. And she will take it to the altar. Witnesses have spotted Paris shopping for a wedding gown. What might you ask has prompted this? She has been seen displaying public affections with herself and her mirror for some time now.

When asked why she would choose to puke off the side of the stage while singing a tune from her latest album, sources say, “It was sort of an attention-getting tactic. She was upset that her attention was turned to the audience to sing and that it was off of her own self. In a sense she was feeling self-betrayal.”

No worries, Paris. We’ll all be there to see you exchange vows with yourself. Maybe we can expect to see a full-length mirror at the altar too?